COVID-19 is spreading across our nation, and national and state governments are taking action to keep our communities safe. With school closures, orders to limit gatherings to 10 or fewer, closures of businesses, and many people working from home, you may find yourself suddenly “quarantined” at home with your family. Here are some ideas for making this time an opportunity for connection and fun in the midst of a difficult situation.

It is normal to feel more anxious or irritable than usual during these days with many unknowns. You may find yourself feeling worried about financial concerns, loved ones who are more vulnerable to illness, or added pressures of hours spent together as a family. Your ability to find ways to cope and regain a sense of hope will help your children to do the same.

One of the best ways to disarm fear, anger, and annoyance that is bound to come up is to enjoy yourselves and keep things light! You’ve been given the gift of free extra time with your kids and spouse, so try to make the most of it. Play fun games, laugh, and enjoy each other. The more you can laugh and find ways to be flexible and creative, the better this time will feel for all of you.

Routines are helpful for everyone, and they can provide you with much-needed structure during this time. Help your children understand the importance of staying on a schedule like they do at school; it will help them to feel less stressed if they know what to expect in their day-to-day lives right now. Let your kids be a part of creating the family schedule; you might consider asking everyone to make their ideal schedule, and then be flexible as you build a final schedule that best suits everyone’s needs.

As you make a family schedule, here are some things to keep in mind:

• Keep morning, evening, and chore routines as similar as possible to what they were previously. Make a point to add these directly into the schedule. Having familiar activities will reduce anxiety and help everyone to adjust.
• Set aside time for schoolwork. When school starts back online for your children, take some time to figure out the new system; there will probably be some hiccups, and that’s okay! The morning could be a great time for kids to focus on completing their schoolwork while one or both parents are working from home.
• Plan consistent times for your meals. Lunch can be a great point for everyone to eat together and catch up during the middle of the day.
• Afternoons could be spent learning a new skill, playing a game, or watching a video. For more ideas, see our activities list at the bottom of this page!
• Schedule in alone time, where each child goes to their own space for some time each day (and when you get to take a break, too!). This can really help with sibling squabbles.
• While doing school at home, try to take movement breaks every hour to stretch, run around outside for a few minutes or jump on a trampoline or swing. Also encourage children to eat healthy snacks every two hours, if possible to keep blood sugar levels regulated.

Once you have finalized the schedule that you would like to try, you can decorate it for some added fun! If you have younger children, make sure to include pictures beside each activity. Then, post your family schedule on the fridge or in another prominent place. Your kiddos can check the schedule at any point to figure out what they can be doing and what should come next. Predictability is a great way to create felt safety in a time when a lot of the world is in chaos.

As you transition to spending more hours in your home doing different activities than you are used to, it can help to put some thought into your space.

Designate an area of your home for school stations; having spaces set aside for school will help to create routine and predictability. For younger children, pick an open area where you can monitor them as they work. Older, more responsible children may be able to do their school in their own room, if they prefer.

With so much time at home, it is important for your kids to have space of their own to do school, play, and keep their things. Your kids may already have their own room or desk. If not, pick different spots in a shared bedroom or even spots in community spaces for each child to have their own “special spot.” This special spot should be comfy, cozy, and all their own; blankets, a chair and card table, pillows, or toys can make each space special. Reinforce that your child can use their special spot whenever they are tired of playing with siblings. Also reinforce that your kids should not touch one another’s spots! These “special spots” can also be the designated place to go during “alone time” in your family schedule.

Make sure to get your teens out of their rooms! Although alone time and privacy is important, your teenagers may need reminders to come spend time with the family, get outside, and take a break from their technology. While technology will help them to have socialization with their peers right now, encourage them to find a balance and take breaks from the news, social media, texting, video games, etc. This is a great time to teach teenagers some much-needed life skills that they may not know yet. You could teach them how to write a check, make a budget, or address an envelope. Or, you might show them how to do some chores they haven’t practiced, like mopping, doing laundry, picking a recipe and making it, or putting together a grocery list. Perhaps you could even put them in charge of leading a family activity of their choice.

As a parent, you will have added pressure to be present and emotionally regulated for your kids all day, but this is a stressful situation for you, too. It is important to care for yourself so that you’re not running on empty for your kids. It is okay to send your kids to their rooms for some alone time, so you can take a hot bath, go for a walk, curl up with a good book, watch a funny video, call a friend, or whatever activities help you to feel reenergized.

If you and your spouse are both working from home, you can collaborate together. Consider setting boundaries about when it is “talking time” for the two of you and when it is working time, so that you both have some uninterrupted time to work. You can also think about setting a schedule for which parent children should ask for help during the day. For example, if Mom has a video meeting on Tuesday from 8AM-10AM, let your kids know that they need to ask Dad for help during that time; then, from 10AM-12PM, kids can ask Mom for help while Dad has uninterrupted work time.

Have grace for yourself and your children. This is an unprecedented situation that you are all doing your best to handle well. Your children don’t want to drive you crazy and you don’t want to frustrate them. Be kind to yourself. Find your favorite ways to regulate and recharge yourself and use them frequently! Also, make sure that you’re taking time to ask your children how they are doing and dealing with this worldwide event. Share how YOU are dealing with your feelings of fear, sadness, and anger. Listen and validate their feelings and come up with ways to deal with those feelings together.

This time may feel very chaotic and bring up a lot of fears. The Bible tells us 365 times to “fear not”! That’s a daily reminder for us to not be afraid and to lean on Jesus. We must also lean on each other during this time for support (within social distancing parameters, of course. :)) And, know that we at ALCS are here for you! Sometimes times of added stress stretch you too far, and you need some extra help. Whether it’s you, your child(ren), or the whole family, we are available to give you added encouragement in these days.

Finally, here’s a list of some activities you can try as a family!

Hannah is a past ALCS therapist who is sadly no longer a part of the ALCS team. She is currently a full-time stay at home mom, but still enjoys leading TBRI trainings on occasion. If you are interested in scheduling a training, you can reach out to ALCS administrative staff and they can connect you to Hannah.